We’ve been talking a lot about the importance of being present. It’s not just the subject of our blog posts, it’s an ongoing theme in our churches, small groups, Bible studies, and especially women’s conversations. Being present helps us “get the most” out of each day, and thus, out of our time here on earth. It’s a goal that many women seek to embody.
But what if we’re too present? How do we find the balance?
What I mean by being too present is the inclination that many women around me, and I myself, have wrestled with: to be always available to every need, opportunity, and coffee date that arises. Some millennials call this “FOMO,” an acronym meaning “fear of missing out.” I meet more and more women who believe that being present requires saying yes to everything, and at the end of the day, they’re absolutely exhausted – both physically and emotionally. Is this what it means to be “present”?
I once heard a quote that stuck with me: “If you’re always available, you’re never much good when you are.” In other words, if we don’t learn to balance what we commit to be present for – we’ll spread ourselves too thin.
Have you ever had one of those days when you thought you could manage back-to-back appointments, make a run to the grocery, clean the house, pick up your kids from school, and have a five-course dinner on the table before 6 PM? It’s so tempting to say “yes” to everything that offers us an invitation. As someone who’s worked in full time ministry for almost a year now, and is married to pastor, I call tell you that this is a constant struggle my husband and I wrestle to navigate.
So, how do we discern what to say Yes or No to?
The one most deserving of our present-mindedness is Jesus. Time with Him, whether a five-minute devotional or an hour-long Bible study, is a top priority daily, and should always top our “yes list.” Next in line for your time should be those who mean the most to you: your family, a few close friends, and perhaps your mentor. But if someone has been habitually draining or discouraging to you, it’s okay to set new boundaries for a season and say “no.”
We don’t have an obligation to say “yes!” to everyone who invites us somewhere or asks us to serve. We are finite creatures with limitations designed to remind us of who is in control, and it’s not us. God is our source of all the strength, time, and decision-making help we need.
So when you find it hard to balance what you commit to, how you spend your time, and being fully present with everything on your daily schedule, remember that you’ve got access to the discernment and strength of a God who is, and will forever be, fully present with you.
Rachel Lohmann
Western Field Director
September 9, 2016