Sometimes life throws us unexpected opportunities, even ironies, that seemingly come out of nowhere. There is no other explanation than, “This must be from God.”
When approached to write about the topic of “healthy relationships” for the Detox newsletter, I was extremely hesitant and even questioned whether Stonecroft leaders had me confused with someone else. Did they know I was a survivor of divorce? That my relationship-life had been on the fritz for a few years? Couldn’t they see that my profession was in business coaching, not in relationship expertise?
As I hung up the phone that morning, all these thoughts raced through my head. I decided then and there that nope, I will politely decline the generous offer, even though I had promised to give it some thought and prayer. How could I possibly be the “right” candidate to tackle this topic? There had to be others more qualified, people who actually had done relationships “right.”
That afternoon I shared with my soon-to-be-husband about the phone call. I told him there was no way I could say “yes,” that I planned to email Stonecroft the next day to say, “Thank you. No, thank you.”
His eyes lit up, and his smile beamed. “That is awesome!” he responded. “I think you should do it!”
Hmm. … Not the answer I was looking for.
You see, in just the few moments during the call with Stonecroft that day – between the words of “you” and “healthy relationships” – I thought of all the reasons I couldn’t or shouldn’t jump on board. It wasn’t because of a lack of time or interest; it was merely a reflection of an imperfect me. I allowed myself to forget the whole person I am in Christ and what He has done through me and my story, regardless of how messy or imperfect that story may be.
But God wants to be glorified through my story. The lessons I have learned and the truths I have begun to believe were not easy to grasp. In fact, most of them were drilled into me on some of my worst days.
One particular lesson came from the biblical book of Colossians, written by the Apostle Paul: “And in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority” (Colossians 2:10, NIV). Here Paul says that without anything or anyone else, we already are whole in Jesus Christ. No matter what our track record or the fiery path we have walked, we are whole because of our relationship with Him. That’s the most important relationship we can ever have. Jesus Christ is at the core of our having healthy relationships on earth; it starts with Him.
Some say there are two life situations that can cause a great change in a person’s heart: the first is having a near-death experience and the second is going to prison. I suggest a third: enduring a broken relationship, one sealed with commitment.
In order to heal from that kind of broken relationship, I had to accept God’s gift of relationship. I had to accept myself and my shortcomings, and then welcome His grace and forgiveness. I had to pour my trust into what He had for me, both the good stuff and the not-so-good, including the difficult emotions and the time for healing that never seemed to end.
Now thriving on the other side, I know the power of a healthy, strong relationship with God and how it becomes the compass for all other relationships here on earth.
If you have experienced a deep broken relationship, I pray you will work to strengthen your relationship with Christ. He can not only make you whole; He can prepare you to say “yes” to unexpected opportunities.
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Sondra Smith
Business Coach, Professional Speaker, Writer, CEO
ARISE Business Coaching