Young women find friendship, advice, and biblical answers for life
The young woman descends the stairs. With each step, the scene expands and appears more stunning: a table adorned with a tablecloth, centerpiece, goblets, plates, and silverware.
She gasps.
“Oh, Mrs. Jan! I haven’t sat at a table like this for so long. You did this for us?” To the hostess, it was a simple gesture. To her guests, a special gift.
Jan Patrizio loves “her girls,” the young women who attend her weekly Bible study. Nearly a dozen professional women come to her Westlake Village, California, home to bond and discover how God’s Word applies to their lives.
“It gives me deep joy, that I can give away my faith in a substantive way,” she says. “I’m sharing my life with them. This is why I’m doing this.”
Can I do this?
Jan, a Stonecroft volunteer for the past 55 years, wasn’t expecting to mentor a group of women in their 20s to 40s at this stage in her life.
“I’m not sure. I have grandkids that age,” she responded when a leader from her large church asked her to lead a mentoring group for young women.
I don’t even remember what being 30 feels like, Jan thought, smiling. But she sensed this possibility was from God. Later, her two adult daughters counseled her to accept the challenge.
At the group’s first gathering, Jan shared her faith story. She said she’d been raised in a Christian family but didn’t understand her need for a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. She told how she eventually made her own choice to commit her life to Him. Jan then invited the group members to do the same.
Honest, meaningful conversations
The group has grown over time, with participants bringing friends and neighbors. Some don’t attend church frequently, but their involvement in the group gives them a sense of community.
The women squeeze around the 12-person dining room table for Bible study. Because these young professionals lead busy lives, they didn’t want a study with homework. Jan suggested the Stonecroft Bible Study (SBS) James: Growing in the Christian Life. From her experience as a leader of SBS groups, Jan knew James’ format could be done together in the group and would lead to some exciting discussions.
They are. Group members started the study last September, and they’re still working through the first part of the book. Full of questions and ideas, these women have much to say and explore about the intersection of faith and life. Through this time, some have started a forever relationship with Jesus Christ.
The women discuss what it means to mature as a Christ-follower. They talk about relevant topics such as love, relationships, lifestyle choices, and cultural issues.
The group’s openness and honesty mesmerize Jan. No hypocrisy. Total authenticity, right down to their prayer requests.
Will you still love me?
Jan encourages a trusted environment, acceptance of others, no phoniness or cliques. Trust and safe conversations are equally important to the group members.
One evening, a participant showed up before the others arrived.
“If I ask a question tonight – that isn’t very Christian,” she said, struggling with the words. “If I ask it, will you still love me?”
Jan’s hug was as convincing as her words: “Honey, don’t you know I’ll always love you? There’s nothing you can do or say that will ever stop me from loving you.”
During the group’s discussion that night, the young woman opened up about her struggle. Others joined in with no judgment. And Jan loved and prayed her through the challenge she faced.
The women don’t always ask their tough questions around the table. Sometimes Jan gets a phone call from one of her girls wanting advice.
“They are constantly picking my brain,” she says. “My life story is important to them and they want to know about my ups and downs. They see that a lifetime of following Jesus truly does give contentment and deep joy.”
Did I do something wrong?
Sometimes things don’t go as planned.
One evening, only one participant showed up. While they waited for others to arrive, Jan questioned herself: Did I do something wrong? Am I chasing them away? Am I following God’s plan for the group?
But the time alone with the lone woman was God’s plan.
Usually quiet in the group, she talked with Jan about overcoming some private, painful issues in her past. The two women bonded through their intimate conversation, something that couldn’t have happened with everyone there. The next week, the other women returned, the group went on as usual, and Jan’s self-doubts disappeared.
“I don’t have to know what God is doing,” Jan says. “I just have to be faithful.”
The way she does the things she does
Jan understands the female heart and how simple touches can make women of any age feel special. She cooks a meal twice a year for the group. She helps them plan a quarterly outing. For birthdays, she presents a small gift, such as a single flower.
Besides making them feel valued and helping them find biblical guidance, Jan encourages the young women to pray.
“Mrs. Jan keeps us prayed up so the enemy won’t cause division,” says Jennifer Harrison, a participant since the group’s early days. Jan sometimes reminds the group to pray for unity, even though there’s no obvious rift. She wants them to stay grounded, Jennifer explains.
Bonding with like-minded others is important to Jennifer. Four years ago, she moved to the Los Angeles area with her three preteens. A nurse, Jennifer was new to the area in a new job with no support system. At church, she heard about Jan’s group and got involved. Since then she’s seen the group grow.
“Every time a new person comes, she adds something more you didn’t know you were missing,” Jennifer says. “Their journey is now part of our journey.”
The call to mentor
The group has influenced Jan’s journey, too. She’s more aware of younger people and opportunities to interact with them. She intentionally goes to places such as an ice cream shop or park to meet new, younger friends. She introduces herself and engages in small talk.
“Big things happen when God is the navigator of my life,” she says.
During her five-decade involvement with Stonecroft, Jan has volunteered in many roles including Regional Administrator, Speaker, and SBS Guide. Those experiences exposed her to cultural and spiritual diversity and taught her the importance of flexibility and grace in all venues.
Today, she draws from all of that as she mentors her girls. “Every time a new woman enters my home, my years of caring and loving women where they are gives me amazing confidence and joy.”
Jan offers this advice to Stonecroft women interested in mentoring a younger generation of women: “To answer the mentor’s call, just get quiet before God. Ask Him to reveal His heart. If He gives you a peace and excitement about it, go for it!”
The Legacy Continues
Imagine a nationwide movement of Stonecroft volunteers, like Jan, investing their time and energy in young women. Exciting things would happen as younger women mature in the faith, build community, and develop a passion for evangelism.
But that’s only the start.
What’s the next step? These same young women would themselves make a big, eternal difference in their homes and communities. They would join Stonecroft hubs, lead Conversations groups for their seeking friends, and conduct Gospel outreaches they create. They would repeat the legacy of investment in others.
Mentoring is the start of something big!