I HATE MY LIFE

by Gayl Fredling

I woke up on the bathroom floor again. All my friends had to leave because they couldn't get in and I was alone again. I hate my life, I thought. I had for a long time. As far back as I can remember all I wanted was to be loved and accepted. Instead, I was ridiculed and put down for my looks and my so called "lack of brain power." I ended up with no personality, nothing that would cause anyone to want to spend time with me.

YEARNING FOR LOVE

How did I get here? Even when I was young, I didn't fit in. I wasn't pretty, I was too tall, and at one point a little behind all my classmates in a new school. That new school was where I first experienced the rejection that would scar me for life. When I had to go into a different school the next year, I just knew no one would like me, so I acted out. I rejected them before they could reject me. I just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth but life kept happening, and I was a very unwilling participant.

My heart was crying out to be loved and accepted, but I couldn't believe that would ever happen. No one seemed to care if I was even alive other than my family and sometimes I even wondered about them.

COLLEGIATE MISTAKES

After high school, my parents told me I was going to go to college. By this time, I was a super non-achiever and definitely did not want to go to college. I had no choice but to go, but for the first time in my life I set a goal for myself. I was going to be accepted and popular. I didn't know how I was going to meet that goal, but who cared? As it turned out, I became well known, but not necessarily popular.

As I was growing up, my parents would have their little parties on Saturday nights and go to church on Sundays. I couldn't handle that and I grew to hate drinking and anyone who drank. Well, that all changed in college. During the fall of my first year, a popular guy asked a friend and me to go to a bar with him and some other friends. I did not want to go, but decided that was a way of getting to know people. My plan was to have a Coke and let them drink what they wanted, but their plan was to get this naive freshman drunk. They succeeded and I lost, literally. I wish I could say that I was in control, but from that night on, alcohol took over. I was hooked! For the first time in my life, I could talk to guys and feel like I could be a part of the group. I could hardly wait for the next party to get drunk and have fun.

Later that fall, I went out with a good-looking guy who was a few years older than me. I was very flattered that he would want to take me out, but I wouldn't have been if I would have known what he planned. I became his special little plaything if his girlfriend was unavailable. I soon found out that the only way I was going to get invited anywhere was to give the guy what he wanted. I ended up hating men and myself.

HITTING BOTTOM

This downward cycle continued to include pretty heavy use of drugs and consuming enough alcohol to make myself sick and pass out every night. I hated myself. I had nothing to live for.

About this time, a friend started telling me that I was killing thousands of brain cells as I drank straight bourbon. I told him I didn't care, there wasn't much to kill. But he started getting through the fog and I decided that maybe I'd better get out.

I moved in with my sister and after about a month, my sister asked if I would like to talk to someone. I agreed—even though that person was a Christian counselor. I didn't have much use for Christians but I was desperate. She told me that God loved me. There was no way I was going to believe that. She then told me that I was a sinner and I shot back at her, "That's nothing new!"

I was surprised that God hadn't struck me dead years before. The third thing she told me was that God had a plan for my life. I was so low, that I knew I had no future on my own. That day I told God that if He wanted this mess I called life, He could have it and do with it what He wanted. More power to Him! God took this very angry, messed-up person and just kept showing me His love.

FINDING ACCEPTANCE

Life used to be all about me. Why don't people love me? Who will love me? What do I have to do to make people love me? Why can't I find peace and love? I looked for the answers to all those questions in all the wrong places: booze, sex, and drugs. Those answers almost killed me. But when God touched my heart, I found the answers to all my questions.

God has given me such joy and peace in the past few years, something that I despaired ever knowing. He has opened up my life to aspects of Himself that I had only read about before: His love for me, His desire to bless me, and the fact that He could truly love others through me.

Praise His name for taking me, a very rebellious child, and loving me and never giving up on me, even when I wanted to give up on Him. But, most of all, I praise Him that He has set me free—free to know Him, free to live the life He planned for me before the world was ever formed. John 8:36 says "If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed." This verse has become a reality for me and I praise His name!

DISCOVERING REALITY IN A CHANGING WORLD

by Jo Knipe

Have you ever thought you had life all figured out—only to discover that life was not at all what you had thought it would be? That has been true for me many times. I've always been one who likes to plan everything. Keep things organized. Know what to expect—be in control.

Maybe it's because I grew up in a very secure family, a family who taught me about security, about love, and about God.

Life was good. I was in control. I grew up, finished my education and began to work at my first job. I loved that job. I still went to church every Sunday. I wouldn't dream of going to sleep at night without first saying a prayer. I read my Bible but I really didn't think much about God from Monday until the next Sunday. I thought about my job, my friends, my social life. I fell in love.

SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS

I was married and I became the happiest woman in the whole wide world—almost. I had a darling husband, but he didn't know it was his job to make me totally happy. This was my new reality. He needed to learn that. He didn't—he thought it was my job to make him totally happy. So I decided I must need a baby. That would do it. And it did—almost. I guessed the happiest woman in the world needed to have another baby. And do you know what happens when you have two of them? You've got to get out of the house!

So I tried that. I began to join things and take self improvement courses. I learned to sew and paint—I became the unofficial neighborhood interior decorator. I joined everything. If there were two women standing on the corner, I'd go join them. And then I was too tired to be the happiest woman in the world, so I decided I'd need to stay in the house. And then I looked at the house. The happiest woman in the world would need to redecorate this place. Or maybe have a bigger house. Or a new hobby. Or maybe another baby. My husband had no idea what to expect when he came home at the end of the day. Some days I would be on top of the world and some days he would find me in tears, and I couldn't even explain to him what made me cry. Some days there would be this terrible emptiness in me—from way down inside—an emptiness I couldn't understand. Those were the days I would throw myself on the bed, have a good cry, and then get up and go join something.

AN EXTRAORDINARY LUNCHEON

Then one day, I was invited to a luncheon. I really didn't want to go at first. I had my own church and I certainly didn't need another group to join, but my friend had attended and she just loved it. So, she invited me again and again, and finally I agreed to go with her. I thought I was doing her a favor, but it turned out that I was the one receiving the benefit. I have never been the same. It was an ordinary day and those women were so beautiful to me. There was laughter, fun, music, even a fashion show—I really liked that. I finished my lunch and began to gather my things to go home, but another woman came up to the podium. She was the speaker that day, and I had never heard anyone talk about God like she did. She talked about God as if she really knew Him.

And then she said that I was so precious in God's sight—that He loved me. She said He loved me so much that He gave His only Son, Jesus and if only I would believe in Him, I could have everlasting life. Of course, since I went to church, I'd heard that before. But then she began to explain some of the things the Bible has to say which I hadn't heard. Every one of us has fallen so far short of what God had planned for us. The Bible says that every one of us has blown it! When we dishonor God, don’t follow His plan for us, or simply live without Him the Bible calls that sin. Sin separates us from God. She said there is a price to be paid for the things we do that are wrong. The price that must be paid is death.

God is so holy and we go through our lives making our own choices apart from Him—which causes an enormous separation between us and a holy God. But He loves us. That's why He sent His Son—the Lord Jesus Christ. (That is why we have Christmas! He was born that first Christmas in that lowly stable for us!) Jesus came to this earth from heaven. He walked among men, He taught them, fed them, healed them and then one day, He died for them. When they put Him on that cross, He died for you and for me. When they took him off the cross and put Him in a borrowed tomb, they thought they were rid of Him. But they weren't, because three days later He walked out of that tomb, proving He was God in the flesh.

But there is something more. He said He came that we might have life abundantly. Joy! In all of its fullness! I sat there that day and remembered the time when I had put my trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as a child, and yet I knew I didn't have that kind of joy she spoke of. I was living my life with my trust in myself! I tried to look out of the corner of my eyes and check out all those other women in the room that day. I thought they probably had it all together. I thought I was the only one there that day who would sometimes feel a lonely emptiness in my life.

THE STRUGGLE WITH PRIDE

I didn't know what to do. I also had a problem of pride. Not only was I a Sunday school teacher, but I had been teaching other women in my city how to be Sunday school teachers, how to relate to little kids—and yet I knew I didn't know God the way that the speaker knew Him. I didn't say anything. I just left—and cried on the way home. I knew I had been confronted with the most important information I had ever heard and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't say anything to my friend or my husband. I didn't sleep much that night.

When I awoke the next morning, I felt this turmoil in my heart and I thought This is crazy! I am in a room with people who know God in a way that I don't know Him. I want what they have and I'm going to get it! I looked in my purse and found the invitation for the next month's meeting. There was a phone number so I called it, but when the person answered I didn't know what to say. I made a reservation and then hung up. She knew something was happening in my life—for someone to make a reservation a whole month ahead wasn't the norm—so she told someone. I don't even know who called me. I only know that a voice on my phone said, "Hey, Jo. We have a Friendship Bible Coffee. Would you like to come?" I had no idea what that was, but if those women were involved, I wanted to go.

My husband didn't want me to go. He thought only fanatics went to Bible study in the middle of the week—and he didn't want to be married to one of those! I promised I could go and not change. I went—I changed—and he was so glad.

GOD'S PLAN FOR ME

One day he asked me, "Why are you so different? What do you know that I don't know? It was a scary thing for me to try to tell him why I was so different. It meant so much to me and I was afraid he would laugh. So, very nervously, I opened my study book and my Bible and began to show him what I was learning. And he didn't laugh! He read it with me, answered the questions with me, and he too discovered a vital relationship with the mighty God of the universe. And we discovered that God had a plan for our lives. I didn't have to plan my own life—I didn't have to be in control.

God had a plan for me, but it was not at all what I had expected it to be. We soon discovered that my strong, healthy husband was not at all strong or healthy. There was something terribly wrong. He entered the hospital for emergency surgery and everything that could go wrong with a human body seemed to go wrong. After 31 days in intensive care, he went to heaven. I knew he was in heaven because of the commitment to Jesus Christ that he had made in that Friendship Bible Coffee.

Just because I knew he was in heaven doesn't mean that I was strong or brave—I wasn't. I was still a baby Christian and I was scared to death. I was very weak, but God was so strong. It was like He was holding me in His hand. God had already made provision for me before I had even had a need. That is the way He loves us. That is reality.

GOD IS IN CONTROL

I didn't sleep much in those days. At night, I would sit on my patio and just look at the stars. The sky was so clear—and the stars so bright. One night I was looking at the stars and for the first time in my life it was so real to me that the mighty God had simply spoken—and those stars were there. He simply spoke and the world was created! And that mighty God of the universe knew my name! He knew I was on that patio, He knew how afraid I was—but it was okay. He was in control—and He was everything I would ever need. There is a verse in the Bible that says, "He heals the broken hearted. He binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars. He even has names for them! Great is our God. His understanding is infinite" (Psalm 147:3-5). I began to pray. I had no wonderful words or phrases. I just said, "Oh, God. Here I am. Will You help me know what to do today?" I knew He listened. I knew He would do it.

I went into the house, woke the kids up, and said, "We are ok." My kids could look into my eyes and they knew I believed what I was saying to them. We began to celebrate life! We celebrated everything!

In the years since then, God has continued to show me that He knows my future and He is in control. He brought a wonderful husband, Frank, and his four kids into my life, and today Frank and I have the joy of telling others how they can experience a personal relationship with the God who loves them. That is the unchanging reality in our lives every day.

A NEW DAY

by Marie Morgans

"I was depressed. My husband was depressed. The whole household was depressed."

We couldn’t pay the rent, the cupboards were bare, and buying Christmas gifts was out of the question. I asked myself, “What is wrong with me?” and heard an inner voice respond with a list of my shortcomings and failures.           

As a woman, especially as a mom, I think I have to fix everything. Not only that, I think that I can fix everything. I was working a good job, had a good marriage to Tom, and the kids were well adjusted. But I couldn’t meet the expectations I placed on myself. I felt like a complete failure.           

CRYING MYSELF TO WORK

Ten days before Christmas, I cried myself to work. That day, I volunteered to work the banquet service for the monthly meeting of the local Christian Womens Club. The speaker, Pat, talked about her life. Mostly what caught my attention was that she said she would call on God when there was an emergency in her life or when she was in a hopeless situation. Wow, I thought, that’s what I do. I call on God when I need help.

Pat talked about a different way to live. She told how she now had a day-by-day relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. When she offered to pray with us to begin that relationship, I bowed my head and prayed with her.

I had been raised in a church and had been involved in religious activities off and on. But I had only given lip service to God about the sin in my life and about His mercy and forgiveness. Until I submitted my faults, mistakes, and shortcomings to God and asked for forgiveness with an understanding of what Jesus did for me, I could not enter a lasting relationship with Him.

On that day, December 15, while at work, I settled it all with God. I prayed with Pat and invited Jesus to enter my life and take the driver’s seat. An amazing peace came over me immediately. I realized I could turn all my anxieties over to God and that He was powerful enough to handle them. The depression lifted. It was incredible.          

PEACE AT LAST

Since that time, things in my life have gotten much better. We got help with our rent, a family member brought us bags of food from the grocery store, and we were able to have a happy Christmas.

Now, I have a new job and I’ve learned that Jesus can help me with any situation. At work, I consciously decided to love everyone there and not indulge in cliques and in gossip. Each night before I tuck her in, I read a Bible story with my daughter. Even my husband has noticed a difference. He told me one day he was “flabbergasted” with the change in my life. I asked him what he meant and he said, “You seem so peaceful now.”

God has given me a peace. Each day is like a breath of fresh air—it’s a new day every day now. Recently, I was waiting for a friend at lunch and I found myself writing a letter to God thanking Him for all His blessings and rejoicing in His gifts. I would have never done that before and am so thankful for the change God has made in my life here in Oregon—and in my life for eternity.

Do you feel overwhelmed by the daily challenges you face? Do you suffer depression or anxiety like I did? You can start fresh today by inviting God to forgive your sins and enter your life. He is understanding enough to handle whoever you are and strong enough to remake you into a new person. Just go to Him in prayer today.

“Dear God, Thank You for Your power and strength. Thank You for Your understanding and Your desire to help me. I give You my life right now. I ask that, because of the sacrifice of Jesus, Your Son, You would forgive my sins and allow me to be made new. Thank You for Your patience with me and for forgiving me. I look forward to growing in my relationship with You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer today let us know by filling out our Response Form. If you would like to know more about Stonecroft Groups near you, visit our Locating a Group page.

FINISHING THE PURSUIT

by Shelley Armatto

Like a lot of people, various members of my family held very different views on religion.

My grandparents were leaders in a very large church. But my immediate family didn't go to church much. My dad was an alcoholic and the members of my immediate family made fun of people who went to church. But there were times I was drawn there. When I did go, I heard how my dad was a bad man and was going to hell. It was confusing. I had heard that God was loving, but I also was being told God was sending my dad to hell.

As I grew up, the little teaching I had about God didn't make a difference in my life. I started to drink, to be promiscuous. I felt worthless.

My parents told me that my best option was to find a man to take care of me, so I married when I was young. My husband was very abusive to me and we divorced. Then, I started dating an alcoholic. We married and had a child, but that marriage didn't last long either. We divorced and I moved to Florida. There, a custody battle began that dragged on for more than six years. I won some of the court cases and lost others.

TRYING TO REACH GOD

Throughout all the turmoil, I did turn to God at times. When I was in danger, I prayed that He would protect me. When I was in court, I prayed God would grant my wishes. Still, I felt like He was untouchable—that He was out there somewhere, but not within reach.

After two marriages, three children, and two divorces, I moved back to my hometown of Kansas City. There, I ran into an old friend. She invited me to an After 5 dinner. I had a good time. I went back the next month, then the next. I was amazed at the speakers who said that Jesus Christ had set them free and good things were happening to them. He seemed so real to them. At the third After 5 dinner I attended, the speaker got my attention. She talked about Jesus Christ and said that even though people do bad things, He still loves them.

Though there were many people in the room, it seemed she was specifically talking about me. I knew I had not lived the way God wanted me to live. The speaker said Jesus loved me anyway. He died on the cross and rose again to set me free from the power of sin and to offer me forgiveness and hope. Then, the speaker gave me permission to accept the love of Jesus.

I bowed my head with her to pray.

I asked Jesus Christ to forgive me. I gave my life to Him. I had never done that before. I had prayed prayers and, at one time, done things the church required of me, but I never turned my life over to Him. I had never trusted Him to care for me, to watch over me, to continue to love me, to direct my every day, yes, even to save me from the life I was living.

A NEW RELATIONSHIP

Jesus wanted more of a relationship with me than to meet me in heaven someday. He wanted to bless my life now, today. But I learned He wasn't going to force His way into my life. He wanted me to yield control of my life to Him. I did.

After that day, things began to change in my life. God began to remove bad influences in my life. Fast. Every time I thought about God, He allowed me to feel emotions I hadn't allowed myself to feel for years--such as love. I was afraid to love before--Jesus showed me how. I am free to love other people without fear.

I had been convinced that I had to drink to be able to socialize, but I've learned that I can still be the life of the party without being drunk. It's amazing to be free from alcohol.

Now, I have a loving family and a husband who truly loves me. Because of what Jesus has done in my life, I am able to love my husband with a total, complete love. Our family Bible is kept on the coffee table, where it is easy to reach and be explored. I can't get enough of God's Word. It is so rich and full of life-giving words.

God did all this for me when I was running from Him. He pursued me even when I wasn't interested in Him. Now, He has turned my life around—He has given me hope for the future and for my family. God has made a way for me to go to heaven and spend eternity with Him.

GOD IS PURSUING YOU

God is pursuing you. His Word, the Bible, says that God loved us so much He sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. The Bible says that God loved us before we even knew about Him.

"This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (1 John 4:10, NLT).

Do you want to respond to God's pursuit of you? Why not tell Him so right now?

"Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for pursuing me. Thank You for making a way to spend each day, and eternity, with You. Right now, I want to stop running from You. I realize I am a sinner and I need Your love and forgiveness through Your Son, Jesus Christ. I invite Him into my life as my Savior and my Lord. Thank You for Your love and Your forgiveness. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen."

If you prayed this prayer today let us know by filling out our Response Form. If you would like to know more about Stonecroft Groups near you, visit our Locating a Group page.

A CALL TO LEAD

by Gaye Stricker

I would like to share how I have seen God work through a Women’s Connection and a Stonecroft Bible study.

In 2005, Eleanor, a friend of mine, spoke at our local Women’s Connection. Eleanor had come close to death when she had a brain aneurism. As she shared her testimony, a number of women came to Christ. This resulted in Eleanor and her husband offering to host a couples’ Stonecroft Bible study in their home.

WHO IS JESUS

Since there was not a man to guide, with a few phone calls and some prayer, I was approved as a Guide. The study, Who is Jesus?, went beyond my imagination. It was exciting to see everyone open the Good News Bibles and read the Scriptures. The verses with page numbers in their study book made it so much easier to find the scriptures. No one needed to be embarrassed because they did not know where such and such a verse was located. I saw couples strengthened in their marriages because of what God was showing them from the Word.

Towards the end of the study, it occurred to me to ask certain men if they would be interested in guiding future Stonecroft Bible studies. Two men said yes, submitted the form to Stonecroft, and were approved. One of the men guided the What is God Like? study and another man, Where is the Holy Spirit?

We are now studying Where is the Holy Spirit? and the group has grown to fourteen people. It has been especially encouraging to see the growth in the men. Two of the men have recently been diagnosed with diabetes, and the Lord is working in their lives. I appreciate that the Gospel is so clear, and I am trusting that the Lord will do even more.

And what about the wives? They are doing well also, and I can see that they are "glowing" because of what God is doing in the lives of their men.

A SECOND CHANCE

by Barb Fultz

My story is like many, but I have to share it with someone. After many years of not drinking, I did the most harmful thing I could have done. I chose to take a drink—and it’s been a long journey home.

For two years, my life had been spiraling. My mother had open-heart surgery and then was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. One day, as I was on the way to visit my mom in the hospital, my car was rear-ended. The accident left me battered and torn. I had just received my CNA license to work in the local nursing home. Because of the injuries from the accident, I lost my job. Then, I took that drink.

Like many, I drove drunk and got caught. The penalty from the law was devastating, but the biggest penalty of all was alienating my children.

I knew I had to do something, so I sought help from a mental health center and rejoined AA.  I am now sober. But, my biggest achievement has been getting back with the Lord.

It took me a while to realize how fortunate I was. I have come to understand that things happen for a reason. I am now able to take care of my mother every day. If I was working, there would be no one to care for her, which I now consider a privilege, not a burden. I realize now that I needed the tough love that my children gave me.

My children had not spoken to me since the DUI, except for yelling and screaming at me. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me, and He blessed me. Last night, my oldest daughter and I talked for two hours! We ended the conversation with, “I love you,” and she said the wonderful words, “Welcome back mom. I missed you."

I pray every day that our family will come together again. I believe that the Lord will allow this to happen. He is a loving God who sees my heavy heart and lifts me up. He tells me to keep going. There are still many things to face, but I know with the power and love of the Lord I will make it. He will continue to do miraculous things in my life if I ask and believe.

Thank you so much for allowing me to share. If I can help one person understand God’s love, then I have fulfilled my dream.

A NEIGHBORHOOD INTRODUCTION

by Jenna Dais

Four years. I had lived in my neighborhood for four years and barely knew anyone who lived there. I felt like I needed to become better acquainted with my neighbors, but didn’t know how to start.

The answer came when I heard a knock at my door. It was a woman named Kathy, and she was inviting me to her house for something called a Christmas Gathering.

Opening the Door

The invitation peaked my interest. It said something about a speaker sharing a special story, and I got the impression that the party might be religious. That didn’t concern me. I was glad for an opportunity to spend time with my neighbors. Little did I know what would come of that Christmas Gathering.

As the speaker shared her story that day, I was moved. She showed us a picture that portrayed Jesus standing outside a door. She told us that the door represented our hearts, and that Jesus was waiting for us to welcome Him in. There is a verse in the Bible that talks about this. It says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me” (Revelation 3:20). I think it is beautiful and comforting that Jesus is waiting to be a part of our lives. All we have to do is let Him in.

When the speaker was finished, we were asked to fill out a card. One of the questions asked whether we would be interested in studying the Bible with others. I marked yes, and within a month, I was involved in a Stonecroft Bible Study.

During that study, I had so many questions answered. I came to know Jesus in a way I’d never known Him before, and I made the life-changing decision to open my heart completely to Him, allowing Him to be my Savior. After that study, I decided to host one in my own home. I have hosted a few now, and have seen my mother, my cousin, and a friend invite Jesus into their lives, too!

What’s Different Now

One of the biggest differences in my life is my understanding of prayer. Before, I always thought that prayers had to be big enough to matter to God. I’ve discovered that God doesn’t mind us praying for the little things—He wants us to! As I talk to God throughout the day, my relationship with Him is strengthened. I’m a big promoter of prayer. I love to tell others how easy it is and encourage them to try it.

I’m so glad God led Kathy to invite me to that Christmas Gathering. This year, He’s leading me to have one of my own. It’s my turn to be the one introducing the neighbors to each other and to Jesus!

FREEDOM

by Carol

For years, I have been on the yo-yo end of losing weight. You know, when you go on a diet, lose 15 pounds, and three months later gain 20. I started out at 135 pounds and ended up at 336. I have failed at about every diet known to man.

I had given my life to God, so why wasn’t I successful?  I’d ask God to take my appetite away. Sometimes I’d say, “God, just fix my taste buds so they don’t like food.” 

I was doing all the right things for God, like playing piano at church, teaching Bible studies, plus working 40-60 hours a week. However, physically and emotionally, I was exhausted. I couldn’t stand for a long period of time or do manual labor. My back and legs hurt.

A Glimmer of Hope

One day in March 2005, I turned to a channel where they were talking about losing weight. As I listened, tears welled up in my eyes. I felt an incredibly strong urge in my spirit that this was it. I ordered the program and waited for the package to arrive.

My daughter, Sandi, and I encouraged each other and prayed that this time would be different. The first week wasn’t too bad. But, by the second week I felt awful. I was truly going through food withdrawal. I desperately wanted to quit. We kept praying.

After six days of my new regime, I stepped on the scales. I had lost 5 pounds. After almost two weeks, a nine-pound weight loss. Along with everyone’s encouragement, I began to feel I could make it. I started bragging on God to my co-workers, giving Him the glory and credit. 

The Next Step

I still had to go a step further. I was reading my Bible, the following verses in Romans 12 (The Message) seemed to jump right off the page. It says, “So, here’s what I want you to do, God’s helping you.”  Notice, it says I have to do and God will help me.

“Take your everyday, ordinary life, your sleeping, EATING, going to work, and walking around life and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Fix your complete attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Recognize what He wants from you and quickly respond to it.” 

Suddenly, I realized that I had never offered my eating habits and lack of self-discipline to God as an offering. In other words, I needed to eat properly in obedience to God. I needed to offer myself as an offering for Him. I finally “got it” and fell to my knees before God. I wept desperately and said, “God, I really am all Yours—take me and use me. I’ll do my best to be obedient to You in every way, including my eating.” 

No More Dieting

I am no longer on a diet. I am just “being obedient to God.”  Every week I see pounds continue to come off. So far I’ve lost 54 pounds.

Isn’t God absolutely amazing?  He showed me there was another level of commitment to Him that I needed to achieve. Complete obedience! 

Do you struggle like I have with weight loss or any other thing out of control in your life?  We have a choice. We can either continue to live in failure and bondage to the “giant” in our lives, or we can obey God and live in freedom. Don’t kick and scream before obeying God. Instead, fix your attention on Him, chose to obey, and you’ll be changed from the inside out. Once you yield to God’s way and really understand what it means to be “totally His,” you’ll find you will want to tell everyone about His amazing love and power. As He helps you through it, you will find complete freedom.